A Cool VBS on a Hot Day

The mercury hit the 100° mark last Friday in Arlington, Texas, but we had some cool fun inside St. Barnabas United Methodist Church. Over 200 kids were participating in the last day of Camp E.D.G.E., the official Cokesbury Vacation Bible School program that helps children Experience and Discover God Everywhere.

As the Almost Amazing Marko, I put on a closer show that reinforced the themes that the children learned during the week. I opened the program with a trick set to airy synthesizer music as I plucked foam stars out of an empty red handkerchief. The routine reminded the crowd of Day Two's Theme, "Trek to Bethlehem," the story of the wise men following the star to Jesus.

Next, VBS Director Cathy Smith recruited a girl to help me with a rope trick. She examined the rope to make sure it contained no trapdoors or mirrors. "This week, you've been studying some cool Bible stories," I said. "Still, with all these stories, the Bible is one book and one story—the story of how much God loves us."

The girl cut the rope in half, symbolizing the Old and New Testaments. Next, she cut the two pieces of rope into four, representing the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. After dropping the severed rope into a bag and some funny byplay with a collapsing wand, I pulled out the rope ... actually, four pieces of rope tied together.

"Remember, I said the Bible was really one story..." Then with a flourish I popped off the knots, revealing an unbroken rope!

My next volunteer was a boy who became Joshua, the mighty warrior who brought the children of Israel across the Jordan River. After I outfitted him in a balloon helmet and sword, he struck a heroic pose and shouted, "To the Promised Land!"

The final lesson of the week was "God Sends; I will Go." I brought out Henrietta, my rubber chicken in a pink dress—my "chicken in dressing." After some corny chicken jokes ("Henrietta's motorcycle-riding boyfriend calls her his "biker chick"), I urged the kids not to be chicken about their Christian witness. Then I produced a card with a large black circle on one side.

"Once upon a time, there was a girl named Dot," I said, "who went to church and heard about Jesus. She decided to follow him and invite others to church." I turned the card around again and again to show the dots multiplying, illustrating the influence that one Christian can have on others.

I ended the show by making a balloon doggy. "They say that a dog is Man's Best Friend. But there is an even greater friend than a dog, and that's Jesus! Let's hear it for HIM!"

The kids exploded in applause.

Pretty cool, I'd say.

Stamp of Approval

United Methodist Evangelist Rev. Mark Winter presented his skit, "Play Ball," to our casual worship service featuring a praise band as well as our traditional service at Lorena United Methodist Church, all part of our Fifth Sunday special service and brunch fellowship. In both services, the congregation responded to Mark's animated retelling of Jesus calling a modern day Texas Rangers baseball fan named Nate to be a disciple.

The church was stunned that Mark is so versatile in his characterizations, as he had previously been with Lorena UMC in a more serious dramatization during Advent. The baseball theme was a hit with our members, who decorated the sanctuary with baseball paraphernalia, wore ball caps and baseball jerseys to church, prayed a Ball Player's Prayer, sang the Star Spangled Banner as well as the Rally Charge—all before Mark led us in "Take Me Out to the Ball Game."

Mark's use of comedy to retell the gospel as well as his unique presentation had one member sharing with me: "I only have one complaint. It wasn't long enough."

Perhaps that is Mark's true talent: presenting the Gospel message in such a way that always leaves the audience wanting more. I encourage everyone to kick off summer with Mark's "Play Ball!" Sunday Service.

Rev. Christie Robbins
Lorena UMC
Lorena, TX

Hot Summer, Cold Schedule

My postings will be few and far between this summer. My ministry schedule has thinned out, which is no surprise during these dog days. Churches around here don't hold many hot weather revivals and folks are scattered on vacation. Fortunately, I was able to pick up a few July dates during annual conference. I will also perform a VBS show soon.

I've been wanting to write another book. It was my intent to start drafting it during this down time ... but the best laid plans of men often go astray. From family surgeries to crashing computers, life has gotten in the way. I haven't abandoned the project, though. I'll git-er-done—eventually.

So don't give up on my blog if you are a regular reader. I'm still here and I will post around once a week until the fall schedule picks up again.

Have a great summer!

Take Me Out to the Ballgame!

"Take me out to the ball game

Take me out to the crowd!"

With those famous lyrics, I began my skit, Play Ball, yesterday morning at Davis Memorial United Methodist Church in North Richland Hills, TX. The folks at all three services joined in with gusto:

"Buy me some peanuts and Crackerjack,
I don't care if I ever get back!"

The last few times I've performed this sketch, I've actually tossed out a bag of Crackerjack. Usually I try to find a kid as my recipient, but at the early service, there were no children. So I threw the bag to a woman. She tried to give it back!

Pastor Linda Holbrook, who was ordained an elder at annual conference last week, checked in for a few minutes, but left before worship was over. She had a van to catch to Gonzales, Louisiana, where senior high youth teams from the Central Texas Conference are converging for a week-long mission project.

The laity carried on like troopers. In the "New Traditions" service, a praise band led worship with "Give Us Clean Hands," "Every Move I Make," "Above All" and other great songs. Davis Memorial UMC is well-known for its music outreach. At their Saturday night "Open Door" service, the DMUMC praise band alternates with guest Gospel groups.

My voice couldn't compete with the musicians, but I made sure I sang loud and lustily (à la John Wesley's rules for singing). Fortunately, most folks know "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," so they weren't subjected to a solo.

Clifford Shufflebottom Makes His Debut

Clifford Shufflebottom is my newest incarnation. He's the tradition-bound chairman of the SPRC at Hardpew Methodist Church. And, no, he's not head of the the Staff Parish Relations Committee, but the "Spouse Parish Reconnaissance Committee."

Clifford was invited to the Clergy Spouse's Luncheon of the Central Texas Annual Conference on Monday afternoon. About 75 spouses gathered in Leach Hall of First United Methodist Church in Grapevine. Organized by pastors' wives Karen Schmidt and Kenda Diehm, the gathering was a smash. Catering was provided by Tastefully Yours of Grapevine. They served up some of the best catered food I've ever tasted: no rubber chicken here! Instead, we feasted on a tender and wonderfully-seasoned fillet called "Chicken Vesuvio," accompanied by mixed field greens with toasted pinenuts, Roma tomatoes and julienned zucchini drizzled with a balsamic vinaigrette. To top it all off, dessert was a chocolate molten lava cake topped with fresh berries.

After lunch and some business, Clifford came in to make a phone call to "Mrs. Hodges," the incoming pastor's wife. His distress grew incrementally after hearing that she didn't play the organ, couldn't cook and wouldn't teach Sunday school because she was tired after teaching public school all week.

"So what will you be doing for our church?" Clifford asked.

Imagine his shock when he learned that Mrs. Hodges wanted to form a motorcycle ministry!

Gettin' Up to Go to Graham

I got a little taste of being a true circuit rider when I roused myself at o'dark thirty on Sunday morning to get to Graham, Texas, about a hundred miles northwest of Ft. Worth in Young County. Fortunately, I was able to mount my SUV instead of a smelly horse.

Yet the circuit rider paraphernalia was all there: the saddlebags, Winchester rifle, boots with spurs, frock coat and widebrimmed hat. I arrived at First United Methodist Church in plenty of time to be greeted by Rev. Ron Newhouse, who showed me around before the first service.

As God's Cavalryman, I invoked the deep Methodist roots of Young County. Brother Pleasant Tackett, nicknamed the "Fighting Parson" because of his skirmishes with the Indian tribes of his day, organized a group of Methodists under an oak tree in 1874. Later, Methodist services were held in the local grist mill and courthouse.

Both morning services got into the heritage spirit. Before the first hymn, two women read John Wesley's 1761 "Rules for Singing." After one of the ladies recited Rule #2 ("Sing lustily, and with a good courage"), the other woman said, "That's lustily, not lustfully."
The choir sang "The Circuit Ridin' Preacher," an old-fashioned camp meeting song that carries the melody lines of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic":

The circuit-riding preacher used to ride across the land,

With a rifle on his saddle and a Bible in his hand;

He told the prairie people all about the promised land,

As he went riding, singing down the trail!

Pastor Ron invited me to serve Holy Communion, as well. This was a first for me, handing out the elements in my frock coat and high boots. It was a perfect reminder that we were gathered as Methodists at that time and place because our spiritual forebears had planted the seed so long ago.

Make 'Em Laugh

If I can make a child laugh--even smile--then I feel like I have fulfilled my calling.

I've been working with kids for ten years now, resurrecting a high school interest in magic into a ministry of "evangelism entertainment." Literally thousands of youngsters see some form of my magic ministry every year.

My most recent engagement came on Monday morning at the Laura Edwards Christian Early Learning Center in Waco, Texas. Dozens of pre-schoolers were already sitting on the floor when I walked in as the "Almost Amazing Marko," accompanied by Revs. Joel and Christie Robbins. (Pastor Christie serves on the Laura Edwards board).

I didn't do any sophisticated conjuring. I twisted a few balloons, told the story of Noah's Ark with a color-changing bag and performed a paper-tearing trick that turned into a cross. But the kids loved it! They whooped and clapped; one kid even got up and started dancing around. (I think the Spirit got hold of him). When I finally produced the yellow paper cross after a few tears and folds, the children "oohed and ahhed." I told them how much Jesus loves them and how much He wants us to tell others that He loves them, too. After I packed up and started to leave, a teacher started a drumbeat in the back of the room. The children began belting out"Jesus Loves Me." I had to turn around and join them with a big grin on my face.

It was a reminder how simple things can still grab the attention of children in our world of whizbang gizmos.

Photo courtesy of sideshowmom via morguefile.com

"Play Ball" at Lorena UMC

Wait a minute ... was this a baseball game or church?

Actually, it was a little bit of both today at First United Methodist Church in Lorena, Texas. Folks showed up in their baseball caps and jerseys to hear Nate the Texas Rangers fan tell his story. The altar was appropriately adorned with a baseball-themed floral arrangement, trophies and ball caps. Pastor Christie Robbins led us in the Baseball Prayer and a soloist sang the Star-Spangled Banner. Even the organist got into the spirit, playing the rally charge just before I came in belting out Take Me Out to the Ballgame.

My skit, "Play Ball," is based on the meeting between Nathaniel the disciple and Jesus, recorded in the first chapter of the Gospel of John. In my updated version, Nate is a philosophical Texas Rangers fan who meets Jesús and takes the Messiah to a ball game.

"Under his coaching, no one has ridden the bench," Nate says. "He's got us out in the field doing things I never thought I'd be doing."

Nate concludes by challenging the congregation to get out of the stands and onto the field. "Why don't you join me and the rest of the fellahs in following Jesús? I don't think he'd mind. In fact, he told a crowd just the other day, 'Anybody who comes to me, I will by no means turn away."

Christie's husband, Rev. Joel Robbins, has invited me to perform "Play Ball" tonight at his church, Mooreville UMC near Waco.